The little man is two. Very much two. He carries that undeniable two-ness around like a super-hero cape. Every day and anywhere he rips open his Adorable shirt to reveal the secret disguise of Two. He chucks scratch at the chickens as if they were bee bees or snaps, he smacks Olive with Frida's teething toys, he screams and cries for cheddar bunnies than screams and cries at the sight of them. He kicks violently during diaper changes, he slaps Birch and I in the face when... well, anytime of day with no warning (there's no clear correlation on that one), and he snaps his toys away from Frida if she so much as lays one finger on them. He whines.
As I said to Birch the other night while trying to keep us both smiling as Keats kicked, screamed, and whined, "Whining is not sexy." That's when it hit me.
Our marriage has been a bit Two lately, too. We snap at each other, misread tired statements as resentment, forget to say "please" and "thank you," misunderstand who's doing what when, schedule appointments for the same time so that one of us has to reschedule or cancel... the list goes on. And yes, whining is not sexy. After listening to whining all day, I'm just not quite there.
Like with Keats, we know this time will pass in our lives. We're already becoming better communicators and are starting to figure out what little things we can do for one another and for ourselves in order to get through each day just a little happier. It'll take a bit more patience, understanding, discipline, and escapism to get to that beautiful place that is after Two. You know, until we face it once again with Frida. Oh heavens...
We'll make it though. We're learning so much about all this change and excitement. It's definitely hard and exhausting, but truthfully, I believe it to be worth every minute. I have a lovely family and we love each other deeply. We live in a gorgeous part of the world and are making new friends with the residents here.
It reminds me so much of my time in Virginia, being in a place where you have no history and no one knows a thing about you except for what they see. You have the chance to be only exactly who you are in that exact moment of your life without the baggage of expectation or habit. That is what Birch and I need to insert into our marriage and family life: newness. We've been married for four years which isn't long but it's definitely long enough to have established a routine of behavior. I've been working hard to initiate some more routine into my life, mostly in the ship-shape arena, but it is also so important to inject a little adventure, spontaneity, and fun into each day however it is you can get it. I look back on my time in Virginia as my true learning ground for marriage. It's where I truly became who I am purely because I was myself alone. It's fitting that within that time I met Birch. We fell in love and were married six months later. At one point we knew what "whirlwind" meant. Now we have become a bit settled and I don't think we're wearing it very well.
So here's to becoming fresh and new once more and getting over being Two.