Tonight is Budget Night

Birch and I go over our budget every year. We're pretty good about planning our budget and adequate at following our budget throughout the year. This year we're deciding on some changes and discussing some issues we've had in the past:

• Switching to nearly exclusive use of cash
• How much to put into savings each month
• Which denomination of bill/coin we will never spend and put into a jar instead for extra savings
• Which credit card to pay extra on each month
• Basic priorities when it comes to keeping each of us sane (and how money plays into it)

We've been a bit haphazard about budget planning so far in our marriage so I'm hoping this year we can have a bit more routine to it. Our initial meeting each month will be the longest. Then we'll have quick check-in's each week throughout the month to make sure we're staying on target or to discuss something that has been too difficult. 

We're hoping to accomplish a few things this year, but I think we're both stressed as to how we'll afford them all:

• Fence up an area of the yard to keep the chickens
• Vegetable and flower garden
• Duck enclosure in the garden
• Kitchen storage
• Buy a somewhat new car (!!)
• Family visiting from the UK (!!)
• Family road trip to Utah (!!)

Looking at it all, it stresses me out. We can do it, though. What do you do to help yourself stay within your budget? Do you use envelopes or jars? Do you make it super difficult to get to your savings account money? 

What do you tend to break your budget over? Clothes? House decorations? Groceries?

I'll let you know how tonight goes... we're trying it a different way than usual. Should be interesting. And yeah, those last three things we're doing this year: non-negotiable and really exciting!

"...Who Was No More Than Two"

The little man is two. Very much two. He carries that undeniable two-ness around like a super-hero cape. Every day and anywhere he rips open his Adorable shirt to reveal the secret disguise of Two. He chucks scratch at the chickens as if they were bee bees or snaps, he smacks Olive with Frida's teething toys, he screams and cries for cheddar bunnies than screams and cries at the sight of them. He kicks violently during diaper changes, he slaps Birch and I in the face when... well, anytime of day with no warning (there's no clear correlation on that one), and he snaps his toys away from Frida if she so much as lays one finger on them. He whines.

As I said to Birch the other night while trying to keep us both smiling as Keats kicked, screamed, and whined, "Whining is not sexy." That's when it hit me.

Our marriage has been a bit Two lately, too. We snap at each other, misread tired statements as resentment, forget to say "please" and "thank you," misunderstand who's doing what when, schedule appointments for the same time so that one of us has to reschedule or cancel... the list goes on. And yes, whining is not sexy. After listening to whining all day, I'm just not quite there.

Like with Keats, we know this time will pass in our lives. We're already becoming better communicators and are starting to figure out what little things we can do for one another and for ourselves in order to get through each day just a little happier. It'll take a bit more patience, understanding, discipline, and escapism to get to that beautiful place that is after Two. You know, until we face it once again with Frida. Oh heavens...

We'll make it though. We're learning so much about all this change and excitement. It's definitely hard and exhausting, but truthfully, I believe it to be worth every minute. I have a lovely family and we love each other deeply. We live in a gorgeous part of the world and are making new friends with the residents here.

It reminds me so much of my time in Virginia, being in a place where you have no history and no one knows a thing about you except for what they see. You have the chance to be only exactly who you are in that exact moment of your life without the baggage of expectation or habit. That is what Birch and I need to insert into our marriage and family life: newness. We've been married for four years which isn't long but it's definitely long enough to have established a routine of behavior. I've been working hard to initiate some more routine into my life, mostly in the ship-shape arena, but it is also so important to inject a little adventure, spontaneity, and fun into each day however it is you can get it. I look back on my time in Virginia as my true learning ground for marriage. It's where I truly became who I am purely because I was myself alone. It's fitting that within that time I met Birch. We fell in love and were married six months later. At one point we knew what "whirlwind" meant. Now we have become a bit settled and I don't think we're wearing it very well.

So here's to becoming fresh and new once more and getting over being Two.

Listen

Listen to the peep peep peep of the four baby ducklings snuggling up under their light. Listen to the fluffing of feathers as these balls of downy black welcome our smallest chicken, even smaller than any of them. Listen to our little lady wrestle herself in the little mirror. Listen to the little boy telling his crib friends all about penguins, doggie guitars, and mommy and daddy pigs along with their baby pigs, too. Listen to my man scraping out stinky bedding from the coop as chickens sleep on their roosts. Listen to the washer tussle and rinse the days away. Listen to the lonely peacock hoot and caw atop his high perch in the willow trees. Listen to the washer stop, the peeping subside, the boy roll a car slowly and methodically across his crib; to the soft fall of new bedding, to the suckle of mother and daughter. Listen to the lonely peacock hoot and caw and feel the warmth within these walls. Remember how to make this place again and again. Listen again and again.

Good Days

Snippets

Keats is coming out with some good ones lately. Enjoy:

"Mommy, the red ball is not brown. It's red."

"It's a beautiful red!"

"Yes, Mommy. Bee-bull red. Yes. Right."

"No! Olive! Ottoman! Up on ottoman!" (Which, of course, fills me with shame. Poor Olive.)

"Mommy's hot coffee is hot! Too hot. No Keats--Mommy." (Pretty sure he was telling himself not to touch my recently empty coffee mug despite being seriously tempted.)

While walking around with his phone, "Daddy? Hello. Hello. Yes. Right. These are ducklings. That's a fish! No, Daddy. No, that's a bear. Not a bear. Not a bear! A panda. Panda. Yes. Right." (Words cannot express my joy that particular lesson has sunken in. Haha. It's the little things.)

"Frida, Olive, Daddy, Auntie Doody, Auntie Miriam, Uncle Ben. Uncle Ben! Uncle Ben! Oh, no! No Uncle Ben!" (None of these people except Frida and Olive dog were present. By the way, Auntie Doody? That's you, Suzie!)

Spring Cleaning Week Three Goals UPDATE

Keats has begun a new game: pretending to be asleep. He sets up a pillow and blanket, snuggles down and snores. It's hilarious and sweet, but I can't help wishing it were real...

It took me a couple of days to really launch into this week's goals. Wednesday morning came along and I decided I'd had enough of the mess in the living room (toys scattered everywhere, torn up wrapping paper from wonderful presents, dirt and dog hair waiting to be swept away, and cheddar bunny crumbs perhaps waiting to turn into cheddar bunny trees). So, while Keats was distracted by breakfast and a new video and Frida was practicing her crawling (!) I quickly "sorted" the toys back into their boxes and onto the shelves, swept up, and tossed a few things into the recycling. 

That's when things got weird. I heard something rolling on the roof then heard a big SPLAT! Then came the usual egg announcement from one of the chickens... on the roof. I looked outside onto the deck. Yep, a broken egg. Really? Had a chicken really laid an egg up there? A second later, Cider, our most adventurous hen ame flying down on the roof. I just started laughing. Keats started laughing, too. Frida smiled. Olive jumped up and down, begging to be let outside. I opened the door and she ran out, gobbling up the egg. Easy clean-up. Thanks, Olive! The occurrence hasn't happened again, thankfully. Perhaps Cider was inspired by the ridiculous peacocks and their brood? Birch and Keats found their nest on top of the hay bales the other day...  

Clean and change all bed linens

Write in journal or blog everyday

Box up any clothes Frida has outgrown

Write a love note to Birch

Clear off computer desk and repurpose

Put together new bookcase and reorganize books 

Bake a special treat

Send off package to England

Follow daily Spring Cleaning goals

As you can see, I didn't exactly do much of what I had planned this week. Basically, no cleaning. At all. I could blame it on doctor's appointments and shots, on family mayhem, on Frida NOT sleeping... but the truth is I just don't care that I didn't accomplish all that I wanted to this week. What I did was enough. I have no reason to complain this week. Things went crazy but we all made it through. 

One of my dear sisters gave birth to her third child. All seemed fine until a blood test revealed he had an infection. My sister stayed in the hospital with him several more days and nights than expected. I am so grateful for her strength. She handles so much in her life. So much stress and yet handles it and beautifully! While I wasn't doing much with my week, my sister was giving birth and taking great care of her newest little one. And good news! The little guy was released from the hospital on Sunday... phew!

The family came together to help her husband with their two older children. This week has shown me, once again, how amazing my family truly is--full of inspiration, strength, devotion, and a never-ending impulse to help one another. I grew up thinking this was the normal family dynamic but have since learned that we are unique. I am so grateful to have come from a large family full of love and understanding. We've gone through some things in our journey as a family and so far we've all made it through. We are each so much stronger because of each other. I am so grateful to you, Foxes!

Good Morning!

A shower. Imagine turning the music up loud. Really loud--so loud that it drowns out your singing even over the deafening water cascading over your dancing body. Imagine bopping your head and swinging your hips in perfect time while massaging the shampoo into your hair. Imagine no one else around. Imagine that it's just you, alone in the shower, smiling and singing your heart out. Imagine you haven't showered in days and this is the first time since the last. Imagine Bowie, The Cars, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Imagine it was cloudy when you went into the shower and the more you sing, the sunnier it becomes. Imagine the room filling with steam. Imaging laughing as you sing the wrong words. Imagine not caring a bit. Imagine the lather on your face, your arms, your belly. Imagine clean, fresh water washing it all away. Imagine your morning espresso kicking in. The world becomes clearer. Imagine all your thoughts making sense. Imagine all the perfect comebacks. Imagine washing away all the sleep, all the exhaustion, all the tired. Imagine scrubbing it all away. Imagine being renewed. Refreshed. Imagine a shower.