Positively... Tired.

Today is a hard day. This month has been a difficult month.That's why I started the Positively Charged series, but this post is not one of those, it is the antithesis. I'm sorry if it comes off as complaining and whiny... it is complaining and it is whining, but I think we each should be able to vent without fear of judgment at least once in a while... and who knows, maybe letting it out will help figure out solutions. Here's hoping.

Keats is still battling it out when it comes to sleeping in his crib for naptime and bedtime. He just wants to keep playing. For eleven nights in a row he has stayed up till at least nine. He has had several nights when he wakes up around three or four determined to sleep with us in bed for the rest of the night. That can't, and hasn't happened. For eleven mornings his late nights have not meant that he's slept in. He wakes up between six-thirty and seven. For seven of those eleven days, he hasn't had a nap.

Frida wakes up and is fed and changed at ten-thirty, midnight, two, three, and then is up for good at five. She goes back to sleep at eight or nine.

Keats fell and hit his lip on a chair last night, busting it open. At two this morning he fell out of his bed, presumably to retrieve his blanket which he had kicked off. His bed has a small railing to keep this from happening, but it doesn't always work and I believe the mattress is still too high to be safe from falls.

All of this means I have slept an average of four hours a night for about two weeks. Birch gets an average of six.

All of that no-sleeping means Birch and I are both clinging to each particle of patience we possess for our children and therefore get into little mini fights throughout the day, straining our relationship and making us feel bad about ourselves. There are a lot of apologies flying around our house these days.

Both kids have been sick since last Tuesday.

Keats has decided that pouring liquids anywhere and everywhere is hilarious.

I can't remember the last time Birch and I were on a date, just us. We missed my birthday date first because we forgot (!) and then we missed the postponed date because we were sick. It may be postponed until Valentine's Day.

I have three shirts and one pair of pants that fit, aren't stained, and make me feel good about how I look.

The chickens have not re-accepted the bantam Old English Game hen and so she is living inside until we can fix her up with something better. She is lonely.

Birch let the chickens out this morning and noticed Harlequin behaving strangely. He is hobbling around, unable to use his back legs and listing to the side when he's still. Birch had to leave for work and I don't have a car yet so I can't take him to the vet. Harlequin is a Netherland Dwarf rabbit and is four years old. I'm doubtful that he'll make it till Birch gets back home.

Harlequin chowing down on some winter snacks.

Keats (age: 10 months) getting to know our Harlequin.

Here's hoping that Popeye (Keats' new favorite video... so inappropriate), lots of cups of cocoa and tea, and some sunny weather will help to flip this day upside down and make us smile. More importantly, I hope Harlequin's suffering doesn't last long. Every time I look at him I start sobbing. I love you, Harlequin Bunny. I promise you a million treats and a new run if you make it till we can take you to the vet. I love you, you bravest of all tiny things. You have never been afraid of Olive or any dog, you love living outside, you love being pet and scratched though you hate being picked up, and you are ravenous for food just like everyone else in this house. You are family, little guy. I love you. Get better, please.

Positively Charged [2]

Okay, so I had meant to write up a little something between the first and second installments of my Positively Charged series, but oh well. Right now (literally at this moment) I'm battling Keats in an all out war to "Stay in your crib for naptime!" Anyone else going/gone through this? He figured out "how to get out of his crib" (read: launch himself out and really badly hurt himself) so we converted his crib into a toddler bed until we buy this gloriousness. We'll use his crib for Frida who is currently cosleeping with Birch and I. So... now there is an hour long (or longer) battle everyday. The last few days I've bucked up my resourcefulness and patience and have been very methodically taking away and giving back crib toys when he gets out of or stays in his crib. He loses one when he gets out and gets one back after a certain amount of time staying in (the duration of that varies based on his sleepiness level). We also go through this at night for bedtime. It is exhausting, but the new strategy seems to be helping. Oh, and he's defense pooping. I didn't even know that was possible until now.

Anyway, hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

• Week #2 of Birch bringing home tulips from the farmer's market.
• Delicious Thai chicken soup on blustery nights.
• Nasal aspirators.
• Watching chickens eat ridiculous amounts of insects all day long in the yard.
• Lovely friends coming to visit during the week to spice things up around here!
• Our washing machine and dryer. I love you.
• The menagerie of birds that live on and visit the farm everyday (more on this later).
• Our decision and ability to eat nearly exclusively organic and locally produced food.
• Frida changing from a baby that cries all day to a baby that smiles all day.
• These posts: 1. 2. 3. And 4.
• Still haven't watched the last episode of Dexter (hopefully this weekend... it's time!)
• Reconnecting with our dear friends, Mark and Stephanie! Congratulations on the purchase of your house!

Positively Charged [1]

• The bakery had chocolate chip scones.
• All of my new birthday books were waiting for me at the post office today.
• Frida is taking longer naps that don't ruin her night-sleeping.
• Our new flannel sheets arrived.
• Birch is doing the dishes.
• My sister instructed me on eyeliner and time-outs.
• Keats helped me build an IKEA bookcase.
• The living room was clean and organized for a full two hours one day this week.
• My new pants are a little big.
• I still haven't watched the last episode of Dexter.
• It rained.
• Keats figured out the "k" sound.
• Birch brought home tulips.

Inspiration and Resolutions for 2012

writing Beatrix Potter-style stories about Keats and Frida on the farm

Source: jordanferney.blogspot.com via Kristine on Pinterest

write at least two snail-mail letters each month

Source: meandalice.blogspot.com via Kristine on Pinterest

draw at least three hours a week

Source: lostbirdfound.typepad.com via Kristine on Pinterest

learn more about watercolors

Source: etsy.com via Kristine on Pinterest

get back to daily farm walks

Source: seesawdesigns.blogspot.com via Kristine on Pinterest

cook dinner at least once a week and thank Birch for cooking all the other nights!

Source: centsationalgirl.com via Kristine on Pinterest

start creating a colorful garden

Source: Uploaded by user via Kristine on Pinterest

make each sleeping nook in our home a beautiful and inviting place

Our 2011

In January I cut off about 54" of hair and Keats began walking by himself!

In February, our garden burst into life and I found out I was pregnant with baby #2!

In March, we sprang outside whenever the rain dissipated and explored.

Keats turned a year old in April!

In May, we decided to move to a wonderful cottage on a coastal farm.

In June, we finally found out that we were having a girl.

We began settling into our new home in July.

And explored the treasures of our small town, like this local goat cheese shop (and farm), in August.

In September, we bought a medium-sized flock of chicks to raise in our yard.

I made a fox costume for Keats for Halloween in October.

And Frida Beatrix joined us in early November!

As usual, December was filled with lots of visiting and laughter!

All in all, our year has been fantastic and full of joy. We are very grateful for the opportunities we've been given this year and for all the love we feel each day. We know how fortunate we are to live where we do and for Birch to have the job security he does. 2011 was a crazy year, again, in the world and though Birch and I are increasingly frustrated with it, I am so grateful that our small patch is chugging along happily and, thankfully, pretty near untouched by the financial crisis. That is a lot compared to so many who have lost so much over the years. We're happy to be where we are and love all that we're discovering.

Happy New Year!

Finding Calm

The winter holidays are crazy for everyone, it seems. To-do's galore and visiting pretty much everyone you know that you possibly can, coordinating family get-togethers and cleaning up, decorating and documenting, wrapping and unwrapping. It's easy to get lost in the whirlwind of activity and even easier to fall down the slippery slope to hyperventilation and daily panic attacks (not good).

So, each day, if I possibly can, I focus in on the calm, quiet moments--those beautiful details that make the crazy worthwhile.

A line of owls looks over us as we eat at the dining room table.

Our Christmas tree--a Sequoia--has a beautiful contrast of colors.

A luxurious, soft throw that keeps us cozy on the couch.

Everything is better with gentle light.

Light wood ornaments dangle from the tree.

Small, globe twinkle lights are perfect for our simple tree.

Wood reindeer (napkin rings) watch over us as we read stories in the living room.

Locally made trees add a soft touch to the windowsill.

The fox from our wedding cake walks across the snowy, winter windowsill.

Frida's hand-crocheted blanket is perfectly warm for cold December nights.

A mirrored star dangles from the ceiling just above the tree reflecting the light.

Colored pencils stand at the ready for moments of inspiration.

Locally made ceramics add a decorative touch to practicality.

A bowl of sweet is just right when days are short and nights long.

Our New Little Lady

Frida Beatrix was born on November 3rd and has been an absolute joy. Weighing in at 8 lbs. 6 oz., she's been healthy from the start, though our familial cold at the time of labor has had its effect on her as well. She's doing just fine, though, as long as we keep up with the nasal aspirator and saline drops before bedtime and in the morning.

Meeting Keats for the first time was really special and quite funny, too, as Keats really just wanted to play with the bassinet's wheels. He's has been a very loving and attentive older brother and at times even helpful--handing me a burp cloth or giving Frida her pacifier. Sometimes he's a little too loving and we have to intervene a bit, but we're very happy with how seldom he is angry with Frida and her new place in our family. He loves being an older brother it seems and loves reading I'm a Big Brother by Joanna Cole (thanks Lopez family!) That book has definitely helped us to explain why Frida gets to breastfeed when Keats doesn't as well as the things Keats gets to do that Frida can't. 

Having two is definitely a challenge and some days my brain feels a bit fried, but it's so worth it. We're very happy to have our new little lady. One thing that's been extremely difficult is taking pictures! Frida didn't like to be put down for the first five weeks (ugh... my arms are tired) so taking her picture was a challenge, especially with the addition of a crazy Keats. Now that she's more inclined to sleep for longer periods by herself, I'll be able to snap away like I did when Keats was her age. These newfound hands-free moments have meant more "alone" play dates with Keats and his toys. The first day Frida slept by herself for *gasp* two hours, Keats recognized my freedom immediately and we read each and every one of his books--some more than once. Having that time with him was really special and it made me realize what a challenge it will be to show both children adequate/equal attention throughout their lives.

Birch is really a dream. He helps so much and so often--he's a spectacular papa. With Frida so little and dependent on me, Birch has been mostly delegated to playing with Keats. They've had some really fun times since Frida was born: going to the beach (the "big water"), playing in the yard and going for long walks, and major tickle fests when it's just too cold and wintry outside.

Getting our family rhythm back/adjusted is definitely a priority and we're coming along. We're closing in on Birch's winter break from work and I couldn't be happier about that. As usual, the holidays are jam-packed with visiting friends and family, but we're planning on having some quality time at home, too. I love seeing all the people that live so far away. I miss them so much throughout the year. The short time together is never enough, but it's all a part of growing up, I guess. We move apart, build new relationships, families grow, priorities change, etc. Birch and I often disappear from the world but we hope our friends and family know how much we love them. For now, we're still getting to know little Frida as well as our new home. As much as we look forward to seeing those people we love so much, we're also looking forward to some quality family time at home.

What will we be doing?

Building a chicken coop, putting more boxes away from the move, putting up another wall of framed photos, decorating for the winter season, chopping down our first "actual" Christmas tree, and drinking lots of hot cider and mead. 

This season is one of my favorites. I hope you are having a wonderful winter and have some truly splendid holidays!

All our love,
Birch, Kristine, Keats, and Frida!